Day 21: so randomly on the trail we walk near or across highways. And in 12.5 miles we are at the highway exit where a hiker famous McDonald’s is located. As hikers, food rules everything. Our thoughts, focus, drive, etc. any food that isn’t hiker food in your bag is like gold. It was a mellow hike down to Cajon Pass, but actually pretty chilly and misty. A fog layer was consistent. I was sooo excited for McD’s and I hate that place! But food! and a coffee! I thought the trail would help me heal my bad relationship with food, but it also seems worse now because I can’t quit obsessing over it. On the walk I decided I’m saying Fuck it and just eating whatever I want now instead of always restricting myself. Got to mcD’s and it was the most expensive thing ever! WTF! What happened to a dollar menu? It was like $3 for just an egg and cheese McMuffin. Stupid. I refused to spend more money there. But Meg bought us some cookies, we drank coffee and sat in the warmth watching hikers go back up to the line again and again not able to fill their stomachs with food. Bottomless pits we’ve become. We soon headed to Subway so Moritz and I can get veggie sandwiches since we don’t eat meat. The date today is May 5, Cinco de Mayo so the crew bought beers to take into the trail to celebrate, but I didn’t. We headed back out in a light rain, my green poncho flying all over the place. This thing sucks, I freaking want just a normal jacket. It just blows up into my face and I can’t figure out how to get in on by myself. We hiked 5 miles to a spot with lots of others to camp right when the rain really started coming down. Moritz and Z hung out in Moritz tent and drank their beer and lime and Megs had Hers. Tent tecates! It was funny we all had to hang in our tents due to the rain and when we’d hear new people come we’d pop our head out of the tents and ask “who’s out there” haha. Today a question entered my head, am I hiking my own hike?

Day 20: woke up at 5:50am and headed out from our camp. After shuffling up from our site and getting back on the trail I overall just felt annoyed. But then after walking to the dam and crossing a thigh high level river, there was so much beauty to be seen. A beautiful mystical fairyland. Everyday is beautiful but sometimes you just want some new scenery. You could smell the fresh water, tons of greenery and shade!! I wanted to spend more time there but anticipated the heat coming later so wanted to keep moving while it was cooler. After awhile and being heavily exposed to sun, and talking to Megan about wanting fruit. I walk up to Moritz, Harry and Knolle, and a couple eating fruit from a cooler! Trail magic! I literally ran with my pack o back to Megan to tell her! Unfortunately I only got 1 strawberry and zucchini but it was still amazing. Thank you 👏🏽. During the AM I noticed a crow perched on a tree limb. How amazing they can fly so far, and where ever by want whenever they want. But so often I see them just observing. Utter stillness and presence. I really respect that. Walking we turned a corner and bam there’s a fucking Lake! So amazing! It was beautiful. Boats on the water, people swimming. Me, Meg, and Moritz headed down to a picnic table and stopped for lunch. Afterwards walking I saw the cutest baby skunk right off the trail. Like a baby baby skunk. So tiny. I wanted to pick it up and take it into town to a wildlife shelter but my friends said no. We continued walking towards a camp where you can actually get pizza delivered! We showed up and it was apparently reserved out, the whole park….so we back tracked to an equestrian camp to stay for the night. We decided not to get pizza, and Zephyr ended up showing up and just received some Trail magic tacos..I always miss the big trail magic. Then worst thing ever..I asked Z about the skunk, if he saw it. His response “oh the dead one” I could have cried right then. I could have Saved it. Poor skunk. It’s all I thought about the rest of the night.

Day 19: today had to be one of the hottest yet. I usually don’t mind the heat but I sat at a creek and swam and hung out in the shade for over 3 hours during the heat of the day. I hiked alone basically all morning, and tried my best to just breathe and meditate as I walked. I’m bummed that it’s been almost 3 weeks and spiritually/emotionally nothing has come up. At 16 miles for the day I stopped at a creek where there was shade and lots of other hikers hanging out to get away from the heat. The creek was beautiful with a small fall and big swim pool. Before I jumped in I wanted to go to the bathroom and with so many people around it was hard. Finally I found a space by some rocks, and pulled my pants down, and heard a rattle! It terrified me. I jumped and pulled my pants off, and didn’t have to pee anymore. Went for a swim and met Lt. Dan from Israel, and Em and Lou from Australia. They were eating like real food. Like avocado and hummus! I was so envious and amazed by them. It looked so good! Lots of other hikers were passing to get to the hot springs. It was too hot I didn’t care. And as we walked by We saw it was a huge party, glad to have skipped it. Went with the fam to hike to camp, we stopped a little short at a dope campsite that was basically our own private beach. We had to do a steep walk down to it but not bad at all. We were surrounded by sand, water, rocks, and graffiti. Why? Why do people destroy nature? At camp I didn’t really feel like eating I think the heat got to me and I was a little sick from it.’

Got up and hiked out. Not sure if Simon would be able to keep up with the higher miles due to some knee issues. We all have our shit that comes off and on. It’s funny what our bodies go through when we’re trying to adapt to this new strenuous lifestyle. Today I thought Of lots of random thoughts. How many calories do I actually burn a day? Can I put a Toyota engine in a VW van? Would a van get me up big mountains? I enjoyed hiking solo today, but was so happy to meet up with my trail fam to eat and finish up the 21 mile day. We got to camp super early like 3:30. Unfortunately it was really hot so we didn’t want to sit in the sun and in the shade there were a ton of bugs. Just chillin and reading a little then we started questioning things. Like how far do ants travel a day? What are they doing? We wondered this because we were watching a line of ants work back and forth for as long as we could see. We couldn’t find the end. So Zephyr pulled up a Radiolab podcast on ants and we learned a ton of info about them. Like a majority come from Argentina and have spread all over creating massive colonies. They even fight each other to the death. They can sense when one is not from their colony and they fight. There’s a place in San Diego in a driveway where you can see “thousands of dead bodies” from the fighting. Fascinating. Our camp had a beautiful view. I love my trail fam so much, they’re so funny. Also, an important question came up. Would you rather fight 100 duck sized horses, or 1 horse sized duck?

Day 17: crazy day trying to get back to the trail. The stress of towns sucks. Especially bigger ones where you have to walk tons of miles just to get your resupply instead of resting. It takes all day. I couldn’t wait to get back on the trail. I’m sick of being in town and eating all of this shit food. I feel bad. We got a hitch in the afternoon then Me, Megan, Moritz, Zephyr, and Simon hiked 2.5 miles to camp. A near-0. There was a weird toilet at the camp just surrounded by broken wood. We sat and ate dinner, which I wasn’t hungry because we barely hiked. Simon ate a Simon bomb, mashed potatoes, ramen, and tuna. How does he eat so much??!! Amazing. My goal for this coming week is to pace more and not rush. Because why rush? There’s no real point to that. I need to enjoy this experience.

Day 15-16: hiking into town is always brutal. Your body and mind both know you’re about to get a rest and the last miles into town seem like eternity. Today I hiked 10 miles into Big Bear with Megan and Moritz. It made the miles go so much easier having people to talk to. I really enjoy their company. Once we got to the highway we waited about 20 min to get a hitch. A guy got dropped off near us by a friend. His Jeep had broke down and they were back to fix it, the Jeep started and we hopped in. He couldn’t take us all the way so we had to stop and wait for another hitch. An extremely beautiful and kind woman picked us up. Oh and she also had easily one of the most beautiful huskies, I’ve ever seen in my life, named Suki. Immediately I fell in love. We were starving so she dropped us off near some food, we went into Sandy’s the local bar and grill to order burgers, fries, and beers. A hiker usual! Typically you got the most food for the cheapest price with that combo. We sat in there forever eating more and more sweet potato fries and trying to find a spot to stay. There would be a group of us so we were looking for an Airbnb. Hopefully with a hot tub 👏🏽. Our server was so rad and was calling people he knew asking around for us. Finally we got one, with a hot tub! Zephyr met us at the bar then we headed out. Walking the miles to the house…or it’s what it seemed like. I was grumpy until I stepped into that shower. Later we went and ate some massive burritos for dinner before settling at the house. Day 16 was a 0 day. Spent the day resupplying and realized I hate bigger towns. We walked easily 4 miles to get food for resupply. We had more hikers join us at the house, Simon, Crocs, and Sante. We spent part of the afternoon eating in the hot tub. Then I ate my healthy dinner of chips, Oreos, lemon pound cake, and whatever else was lying around.

Day 14: “WORST DAY YET” I decided to get up really early this morning. To book it the 17 miles to the trail magic, for some reason I was wanting to get there by noon. I’m not too sure why, maybe just a goal, but it was stupid. I got up in the pitch black at 4:45am and headed out alone. It was freezing so I didn’t eat anything for breakfast and just started walking. My headlamp leading the way. It was a tough first couple miles in the dark, lots of downed trees and obstacles to get around. I stopped 3.2 miles in to get water and try to eat. Hands literally so numb I couldn’t undo my pack belt to go pee, let alone try to eat. I was miserable. I started hiking again, thermals, puffy, and gloves on, and they stayed on until 10:30am. I made it the 17m to the Trail Magic by 11:40. I had some ginger ale, cookies, and a PB banana tortilla wrap 🤤. There was also a couch here, how the hell did it get up here??!? I laid around waiting for someone I knew to join me for the last 3 miles to camp. I sat thinking I need to just slow down and let myself enjoy the hiking more. I’m always rushing to get somewhere. I wanted to start enjoying the hike. I took a nap, met Tripod a really cool guy carrying a lot of camera gear! Then Strider and Lone Pine showed up. At 2:40 I finally left and headed to camp, it ended up being downhill and went by super fast! At camp soon Moritz showed up, then Strider, and Tripp’s, and Michael from Switzerland, then a little later Hummingbird, Simba, and Megan!!!!! I hadn’t seen her since San Jacinto. I was so happy to see her! We made a fire and all camped near each other. I went to bed freezing, but trusted my sleeping bag to keep me warm through the night.

Day 13: enjoyed a beautiful morning of relaxation before setting off. I figured I earned it after a 29 mile day. Woke up at 6, ate breakfast, went to a small pond with a waterfall to meditate. Played with some handstands and yoga. I was feeling so good after this. Walked only 17 miles today but it felt like plenty since I was tired. We really had no option because there is a fire closure instead that hikers aren’t allowed to camp in, to allow for regrowth. So you have to camp before or after the closure, so we did before. And a lot of others apparently planned the same. hummingbird was there, Prince, Lone Wolf, and so was Strider. I ended up just cowboy camping to save space because it was so limited. Had a fun time at camp though just chatting in our little circle while eating dinner. And Hummingbird just eating dry ramen noodles! And at the camp there were rumors….rumors of trail magic in 11 miles with cookies, fruit, someone said cinnamon rolls!!! I was ready to get there.

Day 12: sand and windmills. Story of the day. I woke up semi-early and headed out with my pals Emi and Russ for our long descent down to the highway. I was a bit nervous due to my leg, but it held up pretty nicely. I don’t remember exactly but I think it was 15-16 miles from our campsite to the water fountain at the bottom of the mountain….yes an actual random ass water fountain! We stopped off at a near by creek a few miles in a bit off trail to get some H2O before heading out again. I don’t remember much but I know I just got antsy to get to the water and took off on my own. You could see the highway in the distance. Down, down, down we went. Switchbacks and curves to new mountain sides. As we got lower there were tons of massive rocks/boulders making up the ground beneath us. As I hit the last switch backs to the fountain I saw multiple other hikers all trying to squeeze into the little available shade on this really hot day. It was also windy and trying to get the water to get into your bottle was a battle of its own. I sat near the fountain and got sprayed every time someone tried to fill up! It was fabulous!! Moritz, Emi, and Russ cane not too much later and we ate lunch. My PB tortilla flew off my lap and landed Pb side down on the dirt. I scraped off what I could and just enjoyed the crunchy wrap. Moritz and I left and got to the highway where some wonderful trail magic with water, beer, and fruit was! While there we saw Simba and Strider they was going off ahead. No idea where to camp since there were no sites on our maps, we decided to just start walking and figure we’d find something. But no, there were barely good spots and ones we did find were heavily exposed to the winds. We kept going…and going…and going. Then said fuck it and chose to go 7.5 miles to the White Water Preserve Campgrounds. Longest 7.5 miles of my life! Through windmills and wind, big inclines in beach like sand, fatigue, I made it. On the way I ran into Simba and he said something I’ll never forget that changed my perspective. “How cool we get to see all these views that you can only see when hiking the PCT” saw another rattler that was coiled and ready to strike as we neared. And then finally the cross trail is there in front of me ready to take me to camp to finally rest. Not even 2 weeks into the trail and I hiked 29 miles..and they were some tough miles. We said goodbye to Simba as he was hiking on to meet people further up. The campsite trail was beautiful. We walked along a creek, over bridges, and through trees, and there it was. A beautiful open campground with Mountain View’s all around. I put up my tent, and 30 min later Moritz Böglitent was finally up 😂😝. And I ate the dinner I deserved. A refried bean, cous cous, and potato burrito.

Day 11- leaving Idyllwild and heading up San Jacinto! So while on the trail before and in Idyllwild the hot topic was San Jacinto. A snowy mountain in the middle of the desert. Rumors were lurking everywhere. Don’t do it! Have crampons or at least microspikes! So the hikers were going a little crazy, some sent their mountaineering gear here instead of Kennedy Meadows and others headed to the store to buy spikes. I chose to just go with it. I already had spikes being sent to KM and didn’t want to spend more money. I’d just move slow if needed, or turn back if things got bad. Leg felt pretty good this day, but the elevation gain and snow made it a tough day. I postholed twice, but hiked with me trail fam, Moritz, Zeph, and Megan. So we’re all a little nervous about what was to come and as soon as we see snow and everyone gets ready a rescue helicopter flies right over us…umm what? My nerves shot right up. But there we went slow and steady, and it was hilarious…..because nothing was even bad. Fear mongering became a very familiar thing this year. When we went spikes were not needed. It was just silly. We got to camp where there was some trail magic, a guy grilling up a little bit of food but was basically out. And guess who I found at camp, Emi and Russ!!! I was so excited to see them. I hadn’t seen them since the first night! It literally made my heart smile to see them again. And I got some street cred for changing out of my shorts and into my thermals out in front of everyone without showing anything. Just slide the first leg into the pants, out the pants through the shorts then put the other leg in…shorts come off and wah lah!! It was really cold so I went into my tent pretty quickly, and so did everyone else. But we wanted to talk so I relaxed in my tent talking to my friends while they lay in theirs. – the helicopter was for a man who broke his ankle up the mountain, we didn’t see him on the way down but our campsite was the hub for the rescuers. So we saw people going out with a stretcher and about 2am heard them come out of the mountains and leave. They had rescued the man!!